Flame

L: Love is like a fire inside, it can burn straight through you, or it can warm you.

A: It rages and calms at its own times, but eventually darkens like a lamp in an avenue.

L: Sometimes it's better to be kept in the darkness than to have a light at all, that way, maybe no one can hurt you.

A: But eventually as you search you find a match and light it up, another flame, something new.

L: Now that something new, can raise you up past what you thought you could ever achieve or it could shatter every little thing you do. The way you look, the way you talk, the way you move, you lose yourself and all you ever know.

A: But sometimes it's your choice to test that flame's fate and give it a test, throw on some water , though you're not in for the best. Give it no air or put it in the light, blind to its power in the darkest of nights.

L: That's why so many say, "Fuck love." and give up. Without ever tryin', on the inside, they are secretly dying. But they won't admit it. After all, to them all love is fairy tail bullshit. No one to save you, claim you, you have to stand up for yourself. Dust off the dirt, learn to put off your own flame inside, make it fill your eyes, fight all your fights.

A: But as you stand you look down at the shackles, wondering why the one across you cackles. You've got no cell mate, you're all alone, staring at the officer through the chamber of bones. Your flame is small, but it grows with your insanity, you walk the road in the darkest of nights, with such little light, you encourage your bravery.

L: It's like looking through a two way mirror, you feel the darkness start internal, then it spills over and boils, reaching your mind, poisons it, nothing makes sense. Fear is no longer past tense. It surrounds you like a barbwire fence. The wire creeps up your arm, cutting into it, slicing it, tearing through the veins, all the planes of your chest until it pours in like nothing at all but cyanide poison. And then it locks your hear but unaware that itself, is slowly tearing apart. The insanity has set in, you can never win.

A: And as you try to escape, it cuts in you more, makes you realize there's no exit door. There's no way out, you can't sound any alarms, no search warrants to take you in your arms. No one to drag you home, no one to pick the metal from your bones. The thought of no escape drives into your mind, it locks the doors, it boards the glass, it's like a test you can never pass.

L: Now you realize that love was never like the books. In society, it's all about the fuckin' looks. Doesn't matter what's inside, to them it's a crime. Unless you fit in, no matter how you do it but in your chest, it's done. It doesn't beat, it's a cave and it's about to cave in. It's over, it's done. But then there's that special someone, that cuts themselves on the wire, just trying to get close to get a glimpse at that dull blue fire, that never went out, it was just beaten down, forgotten all about. You watch them cut their hands, again and again just trying to be close. Just to speak and get to know you, it shows ya, that there just might be someone trying, and crying to be there, hold your hand, help you stand.

A: They come to you with scars and the freshly open wounds, you both are stuck in the darkening tomb. Your flame is out but you use the other like a single candle on a cake, lighting the other to stop its heartbreak. You stay separated by the wires of pain, wishing to hold the other without the sharp ends digging into your veins. They cut into your stomach as they're pressed between you, reminding you of the fat that lies ahead, not so very new. It's happened before and you want the wire gone, but you know if you touch it, you'll cry once again until dawn. You just want that someone to be able to be in your circle of wire, to ease the scars, you don't want them to be so far.

L: I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, but look to my left, look to my right. I lay in an empty bed, forced to hear the voice in my head. Tell me, that I should already be dead. But I know in time, the wire will crush it all, and to the world I'll seem just fine. But my mind is what constantly attacks me, I stare in the mirror, lose it and just slam my first to shatter it. But that doesn't help it makes it worse, can't be free, what's happening to me?

A: You're becoming a monster, a demon inside yourself. You try to stay the fallen angel you are but you can't take it, like myself. You try to be the good guy, you try to stay the same. But on the inside, you only want to cause pain. You want to watch the city burn, you want to watch everyone fall. You want to destroy them like a wine glass against the wall. But you still have that flame that rages for those beings, knowing they've been through enough and don't need more beatings. So you let your imagination carry you away, showing you what you could become some day. You crave the insanity, you crave to kill. But, you know, that wire's your shield.

L: It's like a forgotten savior, no matter how much you want to kill. Monsters don't sleep under your bed kid, they sleep inside your head. Can't believe anything else, trust and believe that, keeps repeating in your head, only makes you realize the monster you are. You know you deserve to be dead. But yet you're selfish, and crave the kiss, the touch, to be the one change for who stands by you, but you can't, you're never able to. Because when you change it's for the worst. Nothing makes sense, it's like an unbreakable curse, that keeps repeating  every time, you hurt, you beg for death, to end it. To sleep for once without nightmares on repeat. Then that's when you realize about that person. In this world I fear you the most, and in this world I want you more than anything else.

A: But it's when you can't change that leaves you confused, your flame is trying to find its true rage,it trails around like a fuse. Not only is that strength its way to destroy, its way to combustion. It truly brings it to be what it must. to be fed with more gasoline, to be brought up by another dose of kerosene. But it fears to be brought up, because the insanity will be gone. You've grown to love the cravings you feel at dawn. But you know deep inside that you need this fuel, but you don't know how to take it, although it's nothing new.

L: So you fight it. With every fiber of your being, it makes you see things. You grip your head, you hit the wall, beg just to fall. Have the wings ripped from your spine as you scream out to the world "You're fine." but you'e not. On the inside it's a war between the bad wolf and the good wolf. Whoever wins all depends on who you feed the most. But it's all at cost, how much pain, how much loss. Are you willing to go through to protect you, and all the others fucking around you? Will you give up any happy ending for you or will you fight to have your cake and eat it too? Doesn't work like that. It's your life or theirs, no take backs, nor safe from how your mind will attack. But in the end it's all up to you, how you choose.

A: You come to realize that the cake's gone soon enough, but you remember the time of the life of your love. Although it may not last forever, you can preserve it with all of your endevours. You take it slowly, try to make it last. But eventually it's gone, but it remains in the past. Your relationship is exactly like the cake, you want it to yourself, no sharing equals no heartbreak. May sound funny but if you give it a thought, your views on the saying will soon be wrong. It's at some point, it's  your choice to make it last and your choice to hold on, to see how long the other does, if they make it, how long.

L: But now you see, you're out of time. It's gone. Maybe it was meant for the past, and the task of striving for better will kill you in the end.. You can't win..

A: That's when insanity comes back, it comes back stronger and defeat it now lacks. You can't shoo it away, you can't find another flame. You ask where the memories went, they've disappeared, escaped your head..